Finance, Economy, and a Dash of Mayhem - News week 13

Welcome back to our quirky corner of the internet where we dive deep into the wild world of finance, sprinkle in some economy, and garnish it all with a pinch of health advice. Today's newsletter is serving up a buffet of juicy news bits that'll have you scratching your head and maybe even chuckling a bit. Let's dive in!

DEBT STRANGLING WASHINGTON WITH NO SOLUTION BUT WAR

Grab your popcorn, folks, because the Financial Times just dropped a bombshell: bankruptcies are on the rise faster than a rollercoaster ride in a debt-laden amusement park! It's like everyone's cashing in their "get out of debt free" cards from 2007. Oh, how the times have changed!

Analysts are sounding the alarm bells louder than a fire drill in a library. The debt is ballooning faster than a kid's helium-filled birthday party, and guess who's footing the bill? Yep, it's us, the taxpayers, shelling out trillions just to pay the interest! Talk about a financial rollercoaster!

But hey, who needs schools or social services anyway, right? Insert eye roll here.

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL LOSES 34 MILLION VISITORS

Elon Musk waved goodbye to the Wall Street Journal, and it's safe to say the newsroom in New York felt the tremors of his departure. Turns out, truth sells better than tabloids, who knew?

Looks like the WSJ is trimming its workforce faster than a hedge fund manager in a bear market. Maybe if they focused on reporting real news instead of playing political puppetry, they wouldn't be hemorrhaging subscribers faster than a sinking ship.

SIGNA AND EVERGRANDE COOKING THE BOOKS SINCE COVID

In the kitchen of financial shenanigans, Signa and Evergrande have been caught red-handed with their hands in the cookie jar! Looks like these big shots have been playing fast and loose with their balance sheets, and the authorities aren't too pleased.

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, even luxury hotels are feeling the heat. Post-COVID woes, rampant crime, and a dash of zombie apocalypse vibes are giving even the swankiest of establishments a run for their money. Literally.

KAZAKHSTAN GOES FOR THE GOLD

While everyone else is hoarding cash like squirrels before winter, Kazakhstan is saying "nah" and stocking up on gold instead. Talk about a bold move! Maybe they know something we don't? 🤔

MOSCOW PLAYS THE SEIZURE GAME

Moscow just dropped a bombshell of its own, announcing they're ready to play asset seizure tag with the West. Oligarchs beware, your Russian assets might not be safe for much longer! x.com

And there you have it, folks! Another day in the wild world of finance, economy, and occasional chaos. Remember, keep your wallets close and your sense of humor closer. Until next time, stay financially fabulous!

Cheers,